Using “don’t understand each other” shows that both parties are at fault rather than putting all the blame on them. You should certainly keep reading if you want to learn more about the best alternatives. We’ll help you understand which situations work best for the most useful ones. However, if you do not see them as offensive yourself, you will tell them that you’d rather not stop saying them. You’ll be “sorry” that they feel the way they do, but that doesn’t mean you plan on changing your ways.
He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. It’s also best if you take yourself away from the situation as soon as you use this phrase.
Neuro-Thrive: Watch Now Of course, I apologize for any role I had in your feeling this way. So, you can give “I apologize for any role I had in your feeling this way” a try as well. I’ll let you know if I can find a better way to handle the situation.
There seems to be a lot of debate surrounding the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Some people argue that it is dismissive and insincere, while others believe it can be a valid way to acknowledge someone’s emotions. So, why exactly is this phrase considered bad by some?
It really depends on the context and how ‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’ is said. How you feel coming out of the conversation is important to assess what was really going on. As the recipient of sorry gaslighting, attempts to silence and invalidate you never work. It can actually create further animosity and an unwillingness to engage with the gaslighter. And on a deeper level, if the concern is ongoing, the psychological harm and frustration can avert your attention to unhelpful thoughts.
Empathy vs. Apology
One of the main criticisms of saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” is that it can come across as a non-apology. Instead of taking responsibility for one’s actions or words, it simply acknowledges the other person’s feelings without showing any empathy or understanding. This lack of validation can make the recipient feel unheard and dismissed.
If our actions have managed to upset someone we know personally, “my bad” is still a really good way to accept responsibility for it. We don’t always need to use obvious apologetic words like “sorry” to get this point across. “I’m sorry, and I’ll do better next time” is a good way to show that we are “sorry” while also accepting responsibility for our actions. Rather than making someone else feel bad, this phrase works to show that we will try to improve ourselves to not offend later.
Intent vs. Impact
We’ve provided 10 of the best synonyms to show you what options you have. However I didn’t mean it like I don’t care or think they’re being ridiculous. I was genuinely bothered that they found a comment made by someone else upsetting. Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business.
Another reason why this phrase is often viewed negatively is because it focuses more on the speaker’s intent rather than the impact of their words or actions. By saying “I’m sorry you feel that way,” the emphasis is placed on the fact that the speaker did not mean to cause harm, rather than acknowledging the harm that was actually done.
FAQs About Saying “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
- Is it okay to say this phrase in certain situations?
- How can I show empathy while still expressing my perspective?
- What are some alternative ways to validate someone’s feelings?
In conclusion, while saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” may not always be the best approach, it is important to consider the impact of our words and actions on others. Showing empathy, validating feelings, and taking responsibility for our behavior are key components of effective communication and healthy relationships.
