“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a phrase often used in response to someone expressing their emotions or concerns. While it may seem like a polite and empathetic response, this saying can actually be harmful for several reasons.
They’ll say sorry if you apologize for misconstruing their words. Or they’ll apologize if you agree to do some extra housework, or cook them their special meal in order to make up for hurting them. Apologies can go a long way towards repairing hurt feelings and mending betrayed trust. It shows that you had a disagreement that offended them, and you want to apologize. Gaslighting is usually coupled with a number of other abusive behaviors, so it’s important to stay vigilant in case your relationship isn’t one to be resolved.
Gaslighting refers to a form of psychological manipulation aimed at making the victim feel confused, isolated, and cognitively impaired. By using such phrases, the gaslighter will try to control the victim and cause them to doubt themselves, have reduced self-confidence, and rely on the gaslighter. The longer the victim is gaslit the more they may wear down and become more susceptible to further gaslighting. The gaslighter might insist that the victim is at fault for any problems, or they might belittle and shame the victim for their feelings or experiences. This can lead to the victim second-guessing themselves or feeling undeserving of better treatment. They’re in the right, and they’re the ones who’ve been hurt or offended because you’re mean and ungrateful regarding their efforts to make you better in their own eyes.
But if you suffered this kind of damage, you’d be more likely to experience visual disruptions—such as blurriness, light sensitivity, or dark spots—over the following hours, rather than eye pain. The retina doesn’t have pain nerves, according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO). Deobhakta treated a patient who watched the 2017 solar eclipse for 20 seconds without proper eye protection. She now has permanent damage in the shape of a crescent that interferes with her vision.
Of course, these apologies only mend damage if they’re sincere. It will let them know that you understand why they’re upset and you hope you can find a way to move forward. First, it’s a great way to share empathy with the recipient of an email. It shows you’d like to work something out, meaning you’d like to find common ground. I’ll let you know if I can find a better way to handle the situation.
Lacks genuine apology
He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. It’s also best if you take yourself away from the situation as soon as you use this phrase.
With your help, we’ll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can’t find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support. It’s funny how many times we apologize or have been apologized to and not actually said the goddamn words. You can’t just apologize for things YOU would be hurt by if YOU were them.
After she finished speaking, I took a moment to empathize with her situation and said, “Sarah, that must be difficult.” She immediately teared up and expressed gratitude for my understanding. It became apparent to me that by acknowledging the challenges she was facing, I was able to provide her with the support she needed. From that day forward, our friendship grew stronger, and we became pillars of support for each other during difficult times. When someone expresses a certain feeling or perspective, it is important to acknowledge and validate their emotions.
One of the main reasons why “I’m sorry you feel that way” is a bad saying is because it lacks a genuine apology. Instead of taking responsibility for any wrongdoing or offering sincere remorse, this phrase shifts the blame onto the other person for simply feeling a certain way.
Dismissive and invalidating
Another issue with this saying is that it comes off as dismissive and invalidating of the other person’s feelings. By using this phrase, it can make the individual feel like their emotions are not being taken seriously or acknowledged.
Implies judgment
When someone uses the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way,” it can also imply a sense of judgment towards the other person’s emotions. It suggests that the speaker believes the other person’s feelings are unreasonable or unwarranted, which can further strain the relationship.
Alternative responses
- Offer a sincere apology and take responsibility for your actions.
- Express empathy and understanding towards the other person’s feelings.
- Open up a dialogue to discuss and address the underlying issues.
In conclusion, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is a bad saying because it lacks a genuine apology, comes off as dismissive and judgmental, and can be harmful to relationships. It’s important to communicate effectively and respectfully in order to foster healthy and positive connections with others.
